It is not easy in today’s world when striving for success to have complete balance. It would be nice to live half- balanced, as many of us would settle for that! However, in the midst of the “balancing act”, we tend to try too hard…to make it happen. We have since learned over the years that as hard as we try, we cannot always “make it happen”, at least with comfort and ease. So, let’s take a good hard look at what is really going on and try to manage or fix it for the sake of our valued sanity.
Women’s Historical Background
Years ago, before some of you were even born, women were beginning to make their mark through the “liberation movement” in seeking jobs, romance, equal employment, pay scales, and sexuality. In other words, women focused on issues involving competitive employment positions, pay scales comparable to men, and acceptance for women’s innate skills that give them status and acknowledgment for their abilities and accomplishments. They succeeded in many areas and are today still fighting for equal rights to many issues that need continual addressing.
Women Succeed Today
During this transitional time, which made history and successfully accomplished many ideals that trail-blazed women into the forefront of society, women tried to do everything right. For instance, they were continuing with household duties, managing the children and their school activities, preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner plus dropping off and picking up their children from school. After everything had been carefully attended to, the woman of the house attended to herself in order to arrive at work on time; already tired from a full schedule that had nothing to do with her job. Are you getting my point, here?
Well, there was not much time left for intimacy, relaxing before the start of the next day, and most important…not much time for herself.
Eventually with the help of psychologists, psychiatrists, and counselors, who brought insight through research material, books, talk programs, and inquires on “how to have it all”, some enlightenment was shed. A change of attitude emerged that saved marriages and the lives of many, I’m sure.
Where Were The Men?
In the meantime, “Where were the men”? Women began asking this question and a great deal of the time, they resented men for not putting in their share of the marriage commitment. Most of the time, men answered with, “Well, I’m at work honey, bringing home the bacon for the family”. H-E-L-L-O….so was mom! Needless to say, roles began to interchange and responsibilities shifted, appropriately. Of course, this trend is still in practice today. In other words, some balance took place for women in the work-place and at home. Double work salaries were an added plus in increasing the options for a comfortable life-style for the entire household.
Finally Finding Some Balance
This is not the end of a happy life scenario, just yet. How does a household achieve a balance for parents or couples meeting normal challenges of daily living? There are many options depending on the couple and their particular situation. However, it probably will not be solved overnight. It might take a few sessions or so to assess the problems, develop a strategy for change, and implement a resolve-take-action plan, before seeing any improvement.
Below are a few important steps in achieving a goal of balance. After all, anything practiced when forming new habits, will eventually bring about a positive change.
1-Assess your present status in your relationship or marriage. Be honest.
2-Create a realistic idea of how you would like it to resolve and take form in the near future.
3-Ask yourself…”what are the prominent issues” at stake? Be clear, truthful, and concise.
4-Pick one pattern (issue) you want to change and begin practicing it in the way you think it could amend. If you begin to see improvement, then move to the next issue.
5-Try to change one habit or pattern at a time, not more. If you need more time, stick with the issue until there is an improvement. Do not try to handle too much– too soon. This would be a mistake and could ruin good work already accomplished.
6-Have patience, be firm and confident, but always considerate, loving, and understanding of your partner.
7-Finally, even if there is only one person in the relationship making the changes, the other spouse or partner will soon recognize that something is different. He/she will eventually be affected by the change. This is because where there is “love” between the couple and a positive interaction, it will generally ignite a positive response from both partners.
*A final note: Remember, since a marriage or relationship can improve in finding balance and peace if only one person in the relationship asks for help, do not give up so easily. Try to seek help and give it all you have. More results than not, have been proven to have saved one’s marriage and relationship.
Peace, balance, and love are basic needs for humans in their quest for happiness and survival in a very challenging world.
If you would like more information and help in finding your balance, e-mail me: catherine@inspiringself-improvement.com
