What Research Tells Us
You probably have read a few times or more that possessing the trait of gratitude could enhance your entire life and make some gradual and permanent changes for the better. In fact, your overall well-being is affected just from having a consistent mindset of gratitude even for the smallest and simplest tasks.
Five Categories Affected by Gratitude
In addition, the science indicates that there are 5 main category states of well-being that affect our lives directly from being grateful:
1-emotional…strength, more relaxed, less envy
2-career…goal oriented, productive, better management
3-personality…more optimism, less self-focused, increased self-esteem
4-social…more social. compassionate, better relationships
5-health…better sleep, more energy, less ill
The Moral Aspect of Gratitude
It may be difficult to comprehend but it has been studied that gratitude affects one’s moral character by acting as a gauge for behavior.
For example, people who feel gratitude are:
1-more inclined to help others,
2-feel more empathy,
3-positive about pro-social acts and
4-unsupportive of negative or harmful behavior.
Some people with consistent feelings of gratefulness are inclined to draw on and connect to their spiritual side. Gratitude is said to bring people closer to the idea that there is a Super-Being…God. The feelings seem to happen automatically as if it is the natural process of growth in the spiritual realm.
However, in spite of all the positive effects of feeling gratitude, there still remains some psychologists who are not totally convinced about the abundant results connected to gratefulness. These researchers believe that although the many positive feelings that gratitude may bring about, there is scientifically only one definitive positive and negative trait associated with it.
According to researchers:
Agreeableness = Positive Trait Correlated with Gratitude
Neuroticism = Negative Trait Correlated with Gratitude
Agreeableness
In addition to being one of the five basic aspects of the Big Five Personality Theory (extroversion, openness, neurotic, conscientious, agreeable) (Lewis Goldberg, 1998), it seems that being an agreeable person demonstrates such qualities as kindness, trusting and unselfish giving to others. In fact, he/she likes connecting to people and is considered as a very “social individual” getting along with others regularly. It is a person who freely and easily interacts with associates, family, friends and colleagues while showing affection and giving compliments is second nature to them. In other words, this person probably has excellent innate social skills, as well. Moreover, it is likely that the additional traits of kindness and unselfishness shine through consistently in readily helping and assisting others, who may be in need.
Neuroticism
On the flip side of gratefulness, there lies its counterpart of negativity. Negativity resides in a person who is narcissistic by nature. Having a narcissistic personality trait is usually described as a negative trait that is demonstrated by a person who readily reacts to stress with varied emotional states, such as, mood changes, irritability, anxiety, guilt, and shame.
The reason for some of these emotions is the guidelines that neurotics set for themselves are often unrealistic and too high to accomplish within their self-implemented time limits. A more popular definition is to describe them as having an over-the-top conscience. When aspirations are not met, that’s where the problems set in for them. They seem to exhibit other off-spring emotions that are triggered from their unrealistic expectations. The condition is actually termed as a personality disorder. But it is one that can be corrected if monitored with consistency. Many disorders have to be monitored during a person’s lifetime journey, since the condition may have underlying origins.
As you can see, there is quite a contrast between agreeableness and neuroticism. It’s not that neurotics are ungrateful; it’s that they may find it more difficult to be agreeable at times, especially, when their emotions such as mood and expectations alter their behavior. It is difficult for them to keep up with the sudden changes that may occur with life and their rigid guidelines they have set-up for themselves of not being met within their time-frame. Remember, that gratitude could be present in their lives, as well.
Neurotics Could Be Happier
This is why I believe that neurotics can be happier if they learn to practice a set of different patterns of behaviors as opposed to the comfort patterns they are accustomed to. Moreover, many neurotics have the disorder as a trait, which they have been born with or have developed from a very young age.
My Personal Theory
Based on what I have read, researched and observed, I believe that people who experience gratefulness consistently in their lives have a more than an adequate resource of positive self-esteem. They are more likely to be comfortable in their own skin because they have an open social pattern of interaction with different personalities. This would also indicate that a grateful person is nonjudgemental; e.g., willing to give others the benefit of the doubt, making he/she a trusting soul.
In contrast, the neurotic person may have trouble believing in their self-esteem and exhibit feelings of inadequate tendencies based on their unrealistic capabilities of meeting their expectations; additionally, their conscience of inadequate abilities are also unrealistic. They may be very well competent except for their exaggerated judgments concerning and evaluating themselves.
Summation of Effects From Being Grateful
All in all, gratefulness or gratitude practiced as an automatic behavioral pattern can and will affect one’s life, tremendously. In fact, it can change your whole life. A simple trait that makes you feel so good even if experienced for moments at a time, does more for you as an overall constant feeling that cannot be replaced.
So, when someone tells you that you are too nice of a person, just answer them with a smile and the following words:
1.)—A person can never be too nice…there is no such thing.
2.)—You should try incorporating a little gratitude in your daily life and maybe someone will tell you the same thing—“You’re just too nice!”
References
Amin, A. (2016). The 31 benefits of gratitude you didn’t know about: how gratitude can change your life. Retrieved fromhttp://happierhuman.com/benefits-of-gratitude/#comment-1110093
Fraser-Thil, R. (2016). Agreeableness in the “big 5” theory of personality. Psychology: Concepts and Connections, 8. Retrieved from https://www.verywell.com/agreeable-personality-3287986
Jaffe, E. (2012). “In the neurotic mind” Post Meta Observer, 25,10. Retrieved from http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/video/inside-the-neurotic-mind-2.html
N.A. Gratitude and happiness: development of a measure…-greater good. Retrieved from greatergood.berkeley.edu/…/GratitudePDFs/
N.A. The science of gratitude: more benefits than expected; 26 studies. Retrieved from happierhuman.com/the-science-of-gratitude/
Simon, G. Dr. (2008). Neurotic vs. character disorder? criterion two-conscience. Retrieved from
-http://www.manipulative-people.com/neurotic-vs-character-disorder-criterion-two-conscience/
